Bestseller Reader Gifts

'Can you make it out to yourself and write, 'I'm a horrible author and my book stinks'?'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

The DaVinci Code

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'Bront?saurus.'

Mad Hatter's tea party.

Jane Austen

'It's a new medication I'm working on, but the side effects are monsterous.'

"You'd like a book by Shakespeare? Certainly sir - which one. . .?"

The book that will not be denied!

'What are you staring at? . . . Please save me from the English majors.'

'Hey! I just started my James Patterson novel and I'm on chapter 97!' 'You read 20 pages already?'

Books*. *Batteries not included.

'Of course it's sold so well, every time I hide my wife's copy she buys another.'

Best Sellers; Worst Sellers.

Cookery/Bestsellers/Humour/Art.

"The butler did it!"

'Like to read, huh? Me, too. I'm a big reader. I just finished a book by Brown. You know Dan Brown? Great writer...'

Boss, I have a question to ask you, but I'm pretty sure I already know what your answer is going to be. Ask away, minion. Can I have a day off each week to catch up on all the "Star Wars" novels and comic books that tie into the upcoming movie? Of course, Rudy. Who am I to stand in the way of your education in the proper role of a boss and his employee? Wait ... Are you talking about the Emperor and Darth Vader? Excellent training manual, if you ignore the lame social justice warrior parts.

'I'll never forget, it was the day before Newton discovered gravity.'

'I represent the Lilliput High School basketball team.'

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

"You're keeping something from me, aren't you?"

'And to my no good nephew Milo, who thought he was going to get all my cash - lots of luck!'

Prepare to meet your author today!

'Put them there because we can't figure why they're successful!'

The 1 Minute Scape Goat.

'If you want to know what really happened, you'll have to buy my new book.'

Superhero Rescues Books.

George Orwell.

Reading over someone's shoulder.

'I agree, 'Fifty Shades of Grey' is a boring title for a book about home decorating, but I'm getting some great ideas for the bedroom!'

We thought everyone would read it, but they haven't got the time.