Bergman Buff T-Shirts

Seventh Seal

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Super pets.

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

Snowman with Happy Face Badge.

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

'Can I have flies with that'

Are laboratory grown foods the future of farming?

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

President S Grant's Proposed Civil Service Reform not to the Taste of Certain Senators

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'It's supposed to look and smell greasy.'

Trying to describe the size of the Big Bang.

"Shall we put it in play?"

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

RIP William Shakespeare: To be or not to be...

"The favourite practical joke amongst Big Bang theorists"

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

'He's got a good attitude, and he's tall. But he's got to get into the weight room.'

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

"You never know what will catch on!"

Fitness Course.

'...Would you like me to try out my Big Bang theory?'

Big Boy Foot

"In my workout this morning I hit a new personal best, but on a seasonally adjusted basis, my numbers actually fell."

"Today we'll explore the origin of the cartoon universe. Also know as the 'Cartooniverse'."

Origin of the Universe/Big Bang Theory/Big Cowlick Theory

Black Hole Exhibit

"Steroids."

'Can't you spell? This is 'muscle beach.' You want 'M-U-S-S-E-L Beach.''

"Oh, we're not bouncers. We just can't fit through the door."