Bereavement Support Pillows

'I lost my best friend last year and Lisa, here, is part of my support group.'

'We're sorry for your loss. but it must be a consolation to know that his death didn't effect our targets.'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

"Stop blaming yourself. You loved, and dedicated so much of your time. Have you considered getting another cactus?"

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"I know. I miss him, too."

"We can try and mend the damaged heart, but not a broken one."

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

'Oh no! I forgot to change his ring tone to the funeral march!'

'Would you like the ECG tracing of your father's death? It's the least we can do.'

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

'Grief counselling'

"Oh no! You, again?"

"After losing my partner, I felt lost until I realized I had not only an empty shell but also a short-term accommodation business."

"The doctor says Tia Carmen is resting now...he's encouraging all family visitors to go home. We'll see you back here tomorrow."

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

"He leaves behind a wife, two kids, three grandkids, and a 239-day streak on Duolingo."

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

The Invention of Country Music.

Arnold Hazlet and beloved wife Tamira (unless she married that guy across the street)

"...ummm, remember that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped?"

"...Well, yes. There is some good news... If you believe in reincarnation."

Viking Funeral

"He had a full two weeks."

'Another triple, Joe -I'm trying to forget several women.'

Mr. Chester's diplomacy

"After Harry was gone I started decorating the house as a distraction. It was around the time I was wallpapering the driveway that I thought I should seek grief counseling."

404 British military deaths in Afghanistan.

"Well, well – if it isn't the old crystal ball and chain."

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

"Dead! How do you know he's dead? You're a dermatologist."

At the pearly gates

"His last words were: Tell Martha to pay the doctors first."

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

Goliath's Widow.