Grief Support Pillows

"There's been a huge outpouring of emoticons."

'You're sure that's one of the stages of grief?'

"There, there. Try to remember how much he annoyed you."

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

Coping with losing a partner.

"The funeral for Joyce Henshaw, who died in a saw mill accident, will be held on Sunday at 11am and 3pm."

"Would you like to speak to our sorrow sharer?"

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"We laughed. We cried. But mostly we watched TV."

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

'He doesn't talk to me anymore.'

'He's a conspiracy theorist - he refuses to believe that Great Aunt Mildred is really dead.'

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

'Hope it's legit. I never had the chance to say good riddance.'

"Sorry, wrong room."

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

'I don't understand it! On earth he was deathly afraid of flying.'

"Damn, I forgot to get her kugel recipe."

'It's ok, sir, we'll put you in touch with one of our grief counselors.'

"On your previous visit you were describing how you were unable to express grief at the death of your first dog, Ranger. Please continue."

"Sure, it's disrespectful, but knowing old scamp, he'd want us to dig up his bones."

''On behalf of my colleagues I wanted to let you know that we are all crying inside.''

"After Harry was gone I started decorating the house as a distraction. It was around the time I was wallpapering the driveway that I thought I should seek grief counseling."

The final stage of grief is acceptance. And the inevitable long and rambling acceptance speech.

Great Joys like griefs are silent.

'Touching.'

"I was able to get in one last lecture about diet and exercise."

A stranger in paradise.

"I never got a chance to say 'Shut up.' "

"My late husband willed his brain to science. Trouble is science is contesting the will."

Tombstone: I told you I was sick!

"He refuses to let me get on with the grieving process."