Grief Support Pillows

"There's been a huge outpouring of emoticons."

'You're sure that's one of the stages of grief?'

"There, there. Try to remember how much he annoyed you."

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

Coping with losing a partner.

"The funeral for Joyce Henshaw, who died in a saw mill accident, will be held on Sunday at 11am and 3pm."

"Would you like to speak to our sorrow sharer?"

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"We laughed. We cried. But mostly we watched TV."

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

'He's a conspiracy theorist - he refuses to believe that Great Aunt Mildred is really dead.'

'He doesn't talk to me anymore.'

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

'Hope it's legit. I never had the chance to say good riddance.'

"Sorry, wrong room."

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

'I don't understand it! On earth he was deathly afraid of flying.'

"Damn, I forgot to get her kugel recipe."

"On your previous visit you were describing how you were unable to express grief at the death of your first dog, Ranger. Please continue."

''On behalf of my colleagues I wanted to let you know that we are all crying inside.''

'It's ok, sir, we'll put you in touch with one of our grief counselors.'

"Sure, it's disrespectful, but knowing old scamp, he'd want us to dig up his bones."

"That's okay, I lost my wife years ago. Worst poker hand I ever played."

"After Harry was gone I started decorating the house as a distraction. It was around the time I was wallpapering the driveway that I thought I should seek grief counseling."

Great Joys like griefs are silent.

The final stage of grief is acceptance. And the inevitable long and rambling acceptance speech.

"I can accept Mum's gone, but I can't bring myself to press 'delete'."

'Touching.'

"I was able to get in one last lecture about diet and exercise."

A stranger in paradise.

"I never got a chance to say 'Shut up.' "

I realize we all grieve in our own way, ma'am, but the crematorium staff did not appreciate the fireworks you put in your late husbands pockets.