Botanical Bereavement Specialist Pillows

"Stop blaming yourself. You loved, and dedicated so much of your time. Have you considered getting another cactus?"

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"I know. I miss him, too."

"We can try and mend the damaged heart, but not a broken one."

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

'He doesn't talk to me anymore.'

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

'Oh no! I forgot to change his ring tone to the funeral march!'

'Would you like the ECG tracing of your father's death? It's the least we can do.'

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

'Grief counselling'

'Hope it's legit. I never had the chance to say good riddance.'

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

"Sorry, wrong room."

'Our five-course dinners start with denial, followed by anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.'

'I don't understand it! On earth he was deathly afraid of flying.'

"Damn, I forgot to get her kugel recipe."

The Invention of Country Music.

"He leaves behind a wife, two kids, three grandkids, and a 239-day streak on Duolingo."

Arnold Hazlet and beloved wife Tamira (unless she married that guy across the street)

404 British military deaths in Afghanistan.

Hedgehog Mortuary.

'Another triple, Joe -I'm trying to forget several women.'

Don't worry about your lost dog, Son. He's biodegradable

Viking Funeral

"That's okay, I lost my wife years ago. Worst poker hand I ever played."

"He had a full two weeks."

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

''On behalf of my colleagues I wanted to let you know that we are all crying inside.''

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

"Dead! How do you know he's dead? You're a dermatologist."

Great Joys like griefs are silent.

At the pearly gates