Grief Guru Pillows

'Let's talk dollars and cents. How many 'loved ones' did you lose in the stock market?'

The three stooges of grief.

The final stage of grief is acceptance. And the inevitable long and rambling acceptance speech.

SPOT BELOVED COMPANION 2004-2010, 'I told you not to let him eat your homework!'

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Self help acupuncture

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

National Academy of Sport

Keep Fit.

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

Congratulations on the new you!

'I gotta lose some weight.'

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

"We laughed. We cried. But mostly we watched TV."

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

"Your bedside health care book ... thanks for not reading it."

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'

Humpty Dumpty in Occupational Therapy

'Look honey! I can touch my knees!'

'Have you been working out?'

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

"Ever since the elevator broke down, we've learned that our staff is in desperate need of a fitness program. Especially, since we're only one floor up."

"Mom says I'm a super fruit."

"I'm glad to see that almost everyone has been taking advantage of the new executive fitness center."