Graveside Guru Pillows

In a cemetery a man's gravestone reads: Ran Out Of Survival Tips.

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

Deaths from Coronavirus

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

"Feel my claw of death!"

'He lived and died for golf.'

The last word.

Walking on Water

If your question concerns your golf ball, the answer is yes, I know where it is.

'Yup, might be time for a new gardener.'

Valentine for Guru.

Ballerina and the light switch.

'Today's sermon is on the Gospel according to old Saint Matt....'

The final stage of grief is acceptance. And the inevitable long and rambling acceptance speech.

"Teach a man to fish, and he'll know how to fish."

A Late Bloomer.

"I'd love to, but I have a million lonely ritualistic things I need to do."

'Yes...I found the light. Unfortunately it was that little one in the refrigerator.'

'If everything is illusory, why should I listen to you?'

'The secret of life, son, is finding a better hiding place than I did.'

Huldrych Zwingli (Zwinglianism)

Touch screen for bio.

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

Man digging real grave for Halloween.

The experienced coach, like a panther, patiently awaits the precise moment to mount his challenge...

'Let's talk dollars and cents. How many 'loved ones' did you lose in the stock market?'

Yul Brynner

'I don't know anything about Nirvana - I came up here to DIET.'

'He was a grateful man...just not in a good way.'

Cowboy spreading true grit on snow

The three stooges of grief.

'It costs a lot to get it delivered out here, but I LOVE the Sunday crossword!'

'Maybe if we put an ad on Craig's List....'