Bequest Banterers Gifts

'I, Horace Windsock-Trumpintub, being of sound mind...'

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

Musical Accidents

"That? Oh, uh yah...that was Stuart."

'Any chance of a bit of....er...Blue on Blue?'

"You mock, sir—you mock a sport storied and beloved. I, sir, pity you."

'They must be trash fish!'

"We've been married so long you not only finish my sentences you start 'em too."

The world of Freudian slips...

'Did you ever realize that we're really drinking coffee out of large sippy cups?'

"Hey, look on the bright side, at least we're not wine coolers."

"At our age I figure we only have two taste buds left. One for vodka and one for wine."

'If they didn't want us around, how come they keep putting food out for us?"

The last will and testement...

"Experience? I was an on-line financial analyst for nearly an hour."

"I took a viagra before going to the senior citizen's dance, last night, and I couldn't get anyone to come to my place. So there I stood, all dressed up and no place to go!"

'We may have done better if the jockey had carried the horse round!'

"Don’t look at me. You’re the one who brought him the newspaper."

It says 'the sooner we get Twitter set up the sooner he can stop sending these bloody birds'.

'I called it first!'

What year is this? Pardon? Aromatic. Full-bodied. Very approachable. Buttery. Swish swish swish. Yet with aggressive undertones, and an unforgiving aftertaste. Acidic after all. I should like another year. Something crisp yet dry. It's instant decaf coffee brewer with tap water! He's quite aggressive. And not so full-bodied. Pretentious people stink.

Next in business news we report on companies facing financial difficulties. Who's a good boy?! You are! Purr purr purr. You sound just like a motor boat. I will never understand human financial issues. The reporters were saying going belly up is a bad thing.

'If dodos are extinct, how do you explain our foreign policy?'

Last Will and Testement.

'Not to worry, Darling, we're only HALF cut!'

'I won't be frittering my bonus away on booze and stuff.' ... 'I'll drink to that.'

Banter Area.

"I think these "smart pills" are overpriced."

"Did you get a christmas bonus, dear?"

… Okay, now work the body. You're fatter than the Biggest Loser at a fish fry … Pound the brain. You're so stupid you flunked you #$% blood test … Finish 'em with the Kardashians. Kim wouldn't marry you in a fake ceremony for a billion dollars. Hit the showers, kid. Water, throat lozenge, self-respect …

A confrontation between two boys