Belittling Humor Fan Gifts

"I'd remind you not to fly too close to the sun, but no one's ever accused you of aiming too high, have they?"

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Director/Action Man toy.

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Fabrique en Francais (Made in France).

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

What's normal?

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

The Working Woman's Magazine

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

The Snarky District

On the brink.

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

Parade of Businessmen

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

'Mom, don't you understand? Those collars are symbols of subservience and repression!'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'Good evening! The debate over animal experiments continues...'