Believer In The Mystical Gifts

'Hey, come on -- You've got to believe in yourself!'

"You'll do laundry, you'll drink water...oh, and what's this? In the near future you'll clip your fingernails."

"You are gullible and naive. You believe untrained charlatans. You squander your money."

'Madame Astra spiritualist' door 'Please ring, knocking only confuses'

'YOur wife says she's been watching you, and there are a lot of things you need to work on.'

'Any jobs out there in the, you know, nether regions?'

Madam Zelga

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"Just let her believe in fairies a little while longer."

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"You're solemates!"

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

"How can you expect anyone else to believe in you when you don't believe in yourself?"

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

"Did you have a cat?"

'I want to find out what the formula was I wrote yesterday on the blackboard and was erased by the custodian.'

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

A voodoo doctor.

Nikolay Rerih

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

They say animals have the sixth sense and the talent to look into the future...

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

'Hope it's legit. I never had the chance to say good riddance.'

"I'm afraid your wife gets to say 'I told you so.'"

Some day my Prince will come...

'You will be reincarnated as someone who undergoes past life regression.'

"I'm getting your dear, departed husband—he can't believe you paid forty-five dollars for this."

"Tales of the unicorns"

'Great, we're lost. I thought you said you knew the way to the ark! I bet even the stupid monkeys made it there!'

"Excuse me, do you folks believe in ghosts?"

'I know it looks silly, but they say his prophecies have regained their old accuracy.'