Believer-in-cloud-nine T-Shirts

"Just ignore him. He witnessed his whole life and now he can't stop."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'This is way better than a litter box.'

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

Religious texts from heaven and hell find common ground...they are made in China.

"This is neither Heaven nor Hell. It's the private sector."

Whack A Soul.

"I still hate you."

"Your PA isn't due up here for another 27 years. You'll just have to answer the questions yourself."

"I don't care if you are a Leicester City fan - you can come down off that cloud right now!"

Prince in the Afterlife

'I think I'm going to like it here!'

Heavenly Take Out

'Eternity isn't bad, so long as they allow us to day-trade.'

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

The Cheese God

"Speaking only for myself, the unexamined life was a total gas!"

Flight nap

"Sure, you're in, but it's not really heavenly until you upgrade to premium Heaven."

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

"Once a sinner, always a sinner!"

Descartes in the afterlife: "I thought therefore I was."

Angel using his hal to play golf.

'Well, what do you think of the new BOOYA halo?'

"Ah...a newcomer to Heaven, I see."

Home is where the Harp is.

OHMIGOD!

'Dress code?'

An awkward fear of heights...

Please have 2 forms of photo ID ready.

"Assigned to cloud nine! I haven't been there since I caught that twelve pound bass!"

"Can't believe they didn't have your size."

Heavy angels play ring-toss using halos and thin angel.

"Open your mouth so I can take a DNA sample."

I know, I was expecting something different too...