Belief System Analyst Gifts

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

'Can't you just not believe in God and leave it at that?'

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

"Perhaps we should accept her invitation to church. Then ask the priest questions during the sermon."

"He's mad at God."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

Welcome: Skeptics Society

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

"I'm not really into organized religion, though I am very spiritual."

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

"I owe all my success to the psychiatrist who gave me the word GREED as my mantra!"

Confirmation Bias

"Nonsense - we're far less religious than you are."

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."

"As slim as your chances are for salvation, it's nice to see you keep trying."

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

'I want you to sit up front right by my desk. It's not because I want to keep an eye on you. It's a feng shui thing.'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

"People are crazy."

"You have a remarkable lack of curiosity about your co-workers."

Religion, This End Up

Freudian vs Behavior therapist.

"I believe it because I believe it and that's how I know it's true."

Jane Goodall patiently gains the trust of her subjects in an unpublicized research project.

'He became a dissident Dissident in protest at the Dissidents.'

"We assumed they were raised by wolves, but I'm beginning to believe they were raised by stray dogs."k Upload

'So it wasn't b*****t after all.'

Respect Zone: 'We respect yobs.'

There's just no excuse for your behavior, Al. I thought it was your job to find one, doctor.

Sigmund Freud

'Yeah, I'm an atheist - and a damn good one.'