Beginning High School Gifts

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

Big Bang Theory.

'Hmph. College kids.'

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"Abstract Expressionism is definitely right for me at this stage of my career."

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

Girl with smart phone enters door that says "Social Media Studies"

Boy and girl at thier studies

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

'What a drive! Our boy's going to go a long, long way.'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

Culture Saturday

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

"I'll bet all of Albert Einstein's teachers felt like idiots for giving him bad grades too."

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'