Bee Punster Pillows

How was I supposed to know she was under age?

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Intelligent people laugh too!

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

Assault 'n' Vinegar

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

Sweep the board.

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

"All we have left is standing room only."

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"No chips, but I did snag the new Hiaasen."

Dogs life

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

'It's worse than we thought: You've got termites.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

"So is this war movie rated R, rated PG, or rated RPG?"

'He bought a donkey because he thought he might get a kick out of it.'

'Hi, this is Batman. You've reached the Batcave. I'm not in right now but as soon as I return I'll call you bat.'

Kamikaze Colour

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

Richard the Turd

'When she walks in she lights up the room...' 'It's living next to the nuclear plant.'