Bedtime Tradition Explorer Pillows

The Tooth Ferret

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

Late night teddy reading

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

Shadow Puppet Bunny Threatened By Shadow Hawk

The Poky Little Pupa.

'She's just great with the children.'

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

'Read me the one about the ant and the obsessive-compulsive grasshopper.'

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Poppa will probably take it back to 47th Street and get something for your mother."

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"I'm actually pretty ready for bed."

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

Bedtime Stories with Gordon Ramsay

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

Why don't you ever like to spoon?

'It wouldn't hurt to say a few words.'

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

"Name your sources."

Bedtime story.

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."