Bedtime Storytellers Gifts

"Please, Daddy, just one more conspiracy theory."

Dr. Reynolds unsuccessfully combines night story time with EHR pajama time.

"Do you accept these terms and conditions?"

"Once upon a time there was something called the status quo."

'Sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite.'

Dog Nightmares

Pay attention Mom. You're making the wolf and three little pigs sound the same.

'I'm pretty sleepy tonight, Dad - could we just skip ahead to the chase scene?'

Goodnight Moo

Reading to your kid and checking the scores

"If you want the princess to marry the prince and live happily ever after, swipe right. If you want..."

"Do I read better than Mommy?"

'Dad wants to know when you're coming up.'

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

Man using light to shield his eyes.

Dreams

'And if you want anything during the night just shout for me and I'll send your Father!'

'...and they all went into the witness protection plan and lived happily ever after.'

'But I'm not tired yet!!!'

"I don't think Bo Peep was too bothered by foot and mouth...."

'Okay, one more blog about the meaning of 'Alice in Wonderland' and then off to sleep.'

'No, sweetie, they didn't use up their 15 minutes of fame. Dinosaurs became extinct.'

Asap's Fables.

"He wants you to tuck him in tomorrow night. . ."

"And the tattered ghost of Ayn Rand gobbled up everything on Earth and fluttered home to roost in eternal darkness."

"And then all the kibble fell overboard and nothing was left but kale..."

“Nightmare on Pine Street...”

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Late night teddy reading

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

Shadow Puppet Bunny Threatened By Shadow Hawk

The Poky Little Pupa.