Bedtime Humor Appreciator Gifts

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"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

Bed Seasons

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"The mad king ruled by chaos and corruption. He pitted everyone against each other, and they all lived divisively ever after. The end."

"No. You turn over."

Downside of a memory foam mattress.

'Ha ha ha, it's him again! He always makes me laugh.'

"Bah! in my day bands knew how to play their computers properly. Like Kraftwerk"

'Couldn't he just lie at the foot of the bed like other dogs?'

"I'd know my tinnitus anywhere and this isn't it."

"Look, Mommy. Puppy already knows a trick! What should we call him?" "How about 'Scooter.'"

'It's called a bedSIDE manner, Doctor.'

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep and with the sun if I've found death, please excuse my morning breath.

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

"Read it again, Daddy!"

'We'll take it. Come along Rex.'

"I slept funny!"

'Yes, it's very nice. But, that isn't what I meant when I asked you to be more creative, in bed.'

A dingo brings home another baby - 'You take it back right now... we still got the last one you brought home!'

You're supposed to read him a bedtime story at HIS bedtime.

'Almost done.'

Menage a Paws.

"Charley horse! Charley horse! Charley horse! Charleee!!"

"Perhaps you'd be able to sleep better if you pajamas weren't so loud."

'Wake up! You're kissing the sheet again...'

"Honey are you asleep?" "I am now."

'It's the most amazing case of rapid eye movement I've ever seen.'

"If you must paw something, why don't you hit the snooze button?"

'Well, if this book doesn't send you to sleep nothing will.'

'Instead of a bedtime story, I'm going to read you my company's report for the third quarter.'