Bedtime Comedians Pillows

'Well, if this book doesn't send you to sleep nothing will.'

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

'... Same old excuse; 'Not tonight dear, I have a splitting headache.' Isn't it strange how I never get a headache?!'

'Not tonight, dear - we're married.'

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

'So, that's where the blue water comes from!'

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

'Ha ha ha, it's him again! He always makes me laugh.'

'I didn't get the Owners Manual. I thought you got the Owners Manual.'

'Couldn't he just lie at the foot of the bed like other dogs?'

"Read it again, Daddy!"

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

"I'd know my tinnitus anywhere and this isn't it."

The Sex life of a Driving Test Examiner, "Thank you. I will not ask you to perform that manoeuvre again."

"Mind if I read a little?"

His and Hernia's towels.

'Almost done.'

"I slept funny!"

Menage a Paws.

"Perhaps you'd be able to sleep better if you pajamas weren't so loud."

'Yes, it's very nice. But, that isn't what I meant when I asked you to be more creative, in bed.'

Memory Foam Mattress.

"Is there room for me?"

"And just like that, Greg's snoring stopped..."

'I've called maintenance about your bed, Mr. Grimes...Mr. Grimes?'

'Instead of a bedtime story, I'm going to read you my company's report for the third quarter.'

'...and another thing. You're very selfish.'

"Next time, Id' like the director's cut."

Selfish man stealing the duvet.