Bedroom Comedians Pillows

"Wake up Jeff. You're snoring again!"

"Is there room for me?"

'I'm not applauding your lovemaking, I'm trying to turn off the lights.'

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

Bed Seasons

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

Family working together

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

'So how do you manage such a close shave?' 'Simple,i wait till the very last second.'

'So, that's where the blue water comes from!'

'Ha ha ha, it's him again! He always makes me laugh.'

"Galileo, I've had about enough of all your gravity experiments!"

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

'Couldn't he just lie at the foot of the bed like other dogs?'

'It's a new record, mom - there are six of us in here!'

Bed Fellow

"Read it again, Daddy!"

"I'd know my tinnitus anywhere and this isn't it."

A tureen of chefs

Receiving the early-morning T-mail.

Duck in a bathtub

'Tastes just like my mother's pies because she too made hers from a mix.'

The Sex life of a Driving Test Examiner, "Thank you. I will not ask you to perform that manoeuvre again."

"It's time we start moving into this uncharted territory."

Three-way mirror

'Gravity wins - again.'

'You're in luck - My parents like you.'