Bedroom Comedians T-Shirts

"Wake up Jeff. You're snoring again!"

"Is there room for me?"

'I'm not applauding your lovemaking, I'm trying to turn off the lights.'

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

Family working together

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

'So how do you manage such a close shave?' 'Simple,i wait till the very last second.'

'So, that's where the blue water comes from!'

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

'Ha ha ha, it's him again! He always makes me laugh.'

'Couldn't he just lie at the foot of the bed like other dogs?'

'It's a new record, mom - there are six of us in here!'

A tureen of chefs

Receiving the early-morning T-mail.

'Tastes just like my mother's pies because she too made hers from a mix.'

Duck in a bathtub

"I'd know my tinnitus anywhere and this isn't it."

"Read it again, Daddy!"

Bed Fellow

The Sex life of a Driving Test Examiner, "Thank you. I will not ask you to perform that manoeuvre again."

Three-way mirror

His and Hernia's towels.

"It's time we start moving into this uncharted territory."

'You're in luck - My parents like you.'

"Is it my imagination, or does our use of correction fluid increase as people's teeth get whiter?"

'Gravity wins - again.'