Bedroom Bliss Gifts

Giant Sale: 'I said it was simply a misunderstanding.'

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Tedious Romantic.

'You've been faking it, haven't you?'

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

'We'll take it!'

"Well, it's another brand-new day. What do you say to getting up and looking the damn thing straight in the eye?"

'Gravity wins - again.'

Wine Lovers

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

"Dang it."

Father cuts the legs off of bed to solve the 'monster under the bed problem.'

S&M Lovers, "Not tonight dear... I haven't got a headache."

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

'I guess you two won't be reading the Kama Sutra again.'

'Don't hurt it.'

'I agree, 'Fifty Shades of Grey' is a boring title for a book about home decorating, but I'm getting some great ideas for the bedroom!'

'Check out my new bed: Titanium frame, extra firm mattress...Should last for years...'

'OK, the bedspread doesn't do it for you. What's your formula for arousal?'

I can't believe you're still hogging the sheets.

'You are very giving... except with pillows.'

Why you must get up.

Introducing the Tofuton

Woman with a 'Teach yourself better sex' book has put man in the corner with a dunce haton

'He's always wanted an adjustamatic.'

'It's just a silly old saying...you don't need bug repellent.'

"Where's the magic gone, Harold?"

'This is great, we'll take it.'