Becoming A Monarch Gifts

'Kings are SUPPOSED to flaunt it!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

King George I

"Surprise!"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

'How about a game of cards?'

British Prime Minister

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

The Bearskin Hat Family

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

"I have to admit. You talked a good game."

"Don't worry, princess, I'm sure one day your Mr. Divine Right will come along."

'This is great! -- I should have thought of tax simplification years ago!'

King completes rubik's cube.

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

The Royal Wii.

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"I welcome the discussion."

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

"We lost another battle? Why does this keep happening?"