Beauty Tips Pillows

"I saw a study on the long-term effects of wearing makeup. It wasn't pretty."

May's guide to looking cheap on a budget.

"Trust me, the best beauty tip is to get a good toothpaste and brush your teeth twice a day: it will keep you looking young. . ."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Weird things I do because of the internet

"Too much concealer?"

Fittd shēt

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

"By labeling it, I control it."

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"I don't like your application."

"It's called, 'Goth'."

Have you got your make up on yet?

Curling your hair for no reason

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

"Where are my eyelashes?"

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'Mom's Spa'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

First love.

Woman applying makeup

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'