Beauty Spot Explorer T-Shirts

"Are we admiring a sunrise or a sunset?"

'I love our hideaway. I only wish we could find it.'

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

PROBLEM AREAS

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

"Botox."

She. 'Isn't it a pretty view?' Susceptible Youth. 'Awfully pretty, by Jove!'

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

Rating the Sunset

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

'There was no more putting it off; breast reduction time.'

Analysis of Beauty - Plate I.

'What a view! The motivational poster doesn't do it justice.'

'The old one fell apart.'

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

Red in tooth and claw.

'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all considering her age?'

"You've taken those hideous curlers out, had a scrub up, shaved your legs. Looks like it's your lucky night babe."

"The perfume is only £20, the antidote is £250!"

Dating is so expensive...

"I told you she'd had some work done."

Primavera (Spring)

"I'll bet you'd like me if I had curly hair."

Obstetrics, Gynecology and Waxing.

'I am reluctant to offer plastic surgery at this time, Miss Caterpillar: Why don't you let Nature take its course?'

'It's more like a very good used you.'

'Do you have anywhere where they'd think I was good looking.'

"Ready now, Miss Henderson."

Anyone seen my curling tongs?

"As a kid I was told, 'Act your age.' As an adult I'm told, 'Don't look your age.'"

Cosmetic surgeon tells Ugly Duckling: 'Of course, there's a POSSIBILITY that you are a swan, but do you want to take that risk?'

"And this is what we use for the economy liposuction."

Virtual Super-Model.

"I'm old. What's good for that?"