Beauty Regime Fanatic Pillows

The Man in the Charcoal Mask

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

"Where are my eyelashes?"

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

Beauty salon - Our hair color is to dye for!

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

Rape of the Lock- The Toilet

'Do something, Alan...he's been playing in the mud again!'

'There's no charge for the carrier bag!'

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who has the best facelift of them all?

"She's had a lot of work done."

'Will your wrinkle cream work on these trousers, Mavis?'

"So what's your success rate?"

'Do you want it set for light, medium or butterball?'

"Which one of these things is the soap?"

"I asked my hairstylist to work her magic on me and she referred me to you."

Martha went to desperate lengths to avoid flat hair.

'Voila!! No more wrinkles!!'

"You've been ages,dear-but never mind I've been patiently waiting in the pub accross the road!"

Bad Hair Day

'I think it's called Photoshop.'

Brazilian Squirrels

Classical Beauty: "My secret is to eat lots of olive-skinned men."

Tanning salons to avoid. . .

'I'm sure I'm getting worry lines worring if this anti wrinkle cream is working!'

Beauty Products - for women, and for men (exactly the same, but with turbo added).

"You have a very rare conditioner."