Beauty Philosopher Pillows

"Define fair."

"I was once a very beautiful woman, but forty years of reading the 'Times' has taken its toll."

'I was born as beautiful as you, but after a few years you will see...'

'Of course, that's just one mirror's opinion.'

Woman looking into a mirror

"Yeah, I agree, it is a but unexpected since you were such a handsome caterpillar..."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

The adoration of the gels.

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

Spa

Bad fake tan day.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Bad hair day!

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

Dragon Hair-dryer.

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Shampoo.

Lesser known greek gods,

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Cover Design for the Yellow Book, Vol 3- Street Lamps Lighting a Lady's Toilet Mirror

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"Too much concealer?"

Dating is so expensive...

Pampered and poodled.

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

'Have you no common scents?!'