Beauty In The Courtroom Gifts

'Did anyone ever tell you that you're beautiful when you're litigious?'

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

'Remember, don't discuss the case with the jurors.'

Judge getting hair done.

'We find the defendant to be dead meat.'

'You didn't 'win' anything, just declared not guilty.'

'It's not so much to protect his identity - he's just ugly.'

'I'll show you my fine print, if you show me yours.'

'It wasn't me - but I'm sure whoever did it had a good reason. Looks, charm and 10 aliases only get you so far.'

"No it's not. That's his defense lawyer."

"Case dismissed."

"Have you notices how Ed has changed since he started going to law school?"

Are you guilty or not guilty? What happens if I plead guilty?

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

'No kidding? You don't wear anything underneath either?'

"You want to be a lawyer, do you? That could be construed as obstruction of justice!"

"If I have to explain the joke, it's not funny."

'You have to look sharp. You'll be evaluated by the lawyers in this case!'

'I'm on my way to court. What tie goes well with a guilty plea?'

'Try to keep a straight face when you plead 'not guilty'.'

'I'll tell you what worries me -- What if they name a special prosecutor, and HE starts naming special prosecutors?'

'When the going gets tough, the tough SUE.'

'Objection! He keeps talking. How am I supposed to get his mouth right?'

"I have an interview with a law firm. I hope to make an impression."

"When I'm with you, Miss Lawson, the billable hours just fly by."

If you're a defendant, this necktie has 'innocent' written all over it.

"Wear a white shirt ...... It's the grand jury."

"You're making some pretty big claims there. Might I remind you that this is a small claims court."

'It's all very well trainees learning in a classroom setting...'

"So, judge—how the hell you doing?"

"Would you agree that if you were to see a crime, you'd be more likely to do a crime?"

"What have you got that says, 'not guilty'?"

'Is it just me or are we showing more leg this year?'