Fashion In Court Gifts

"We're going to try an insanity defense, so don;t wear to nice a tie."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

Judge getting hair done.

I love tennis

'It wasn't me - but I'm sure whoever did it had a good reason. Looks, charm and 10 aliases only get you so far.'

"No it's not. That's his defense lawyer."

"Do I have to pay the plaintiff the same amount again for each rerun of my case on TV?"

"Case dismissed."

'You have to look sharp. You'll be evaluated by the lawyers in this case!'

'No kidding? You don't wear anything underneath either?'

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

'I'm on my way to court. What tie goes well with a guilty plea?'

Where legal teams but their outfits.

If you're a defendant, this necktie has 'innocent' written all over it.

"Wear a white shirt ...... It's the grand jury."

'Which don't you understand, Ms. Booth - the mumbo or the jumbo?'

'Great news, Ma! Judge Judy, Judge Koch, Judge Lane Mills, Judge Brown and Judge Mathis are fighting over trying me on TV!'

"I have an interview with a law firm. I hope to make an impression."

"I've hired more attorneys. I call it the Layered Lawyer Look for Spring."

"Don't get cute with me, counsellor."

CRIMINAL COURT, 'Don't you just HATE it when they show no emotion?'

"What have you got that says, 'not guilty'?"

Lawyer watching "The Feud Network"

'Is it just me or are we showing more leg this year?'

'Call me an idealist, but I believe this trial should be about more than mere testimony, evidence and legal mumbo jumbo. It should also be about which lawyer has the best three-piece suit.'

'You are the wind beneath my aquittal.'

''Guilty or not guilty'? - I didn't come here to be INSULTED!'

"Basketball star, huh? Tell me, what makes you think you're above the law?"

'Hang 'em high is just an expression Judge!'

Your are charged with habitual drunkeness, because of habitual thirst.

'I would like to call as my next witness my toupee, Your Honor,'

'Objection, Your Honor, opposing counsel is getting more closeups.'