Beauty In Aging Pillows

"Harold, are my knees bumpy?"

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

The adoration of the gels.

Bad fake tan day.

Spa

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

Bad hair day!

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

Dragon Hair-dryer.

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

Shampoo.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

Lesser known greek gods,

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

Dating is so expensive...

Pampered and poodled.

Cover Design for the Yellow Book, Vol 3- Street Lamps Lighting a Lady's Toilet Mirror

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"Too much concealer?"

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'Have you no common scents?!'

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'