Beauty Detective T-Shirts

"How she does her hair is a bit of a mystery."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Bad fake tan day.

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

One of the Ten Best Hair Days of the Year

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

Don't hate me becasue I'm beautiful.

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

"Getting a Brazilian has been nothing like I expected."

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

'There was no more putting it off; breast reduction time.'

'After you with the camouflage.'

Hipster Police Department

I just want to look natural. You know, like a movie star.

Martina Klein

Veni, Vidi, Vici, Mani, Pedi.

Butterfly Woman

Our manicure special today is 'Text Message Tips.' I contour your nails so you can hit all those tiny little keys!

"So what's your success rate?"

'My boyfriend is meeting me when I hit the ground.'

"This will make the man in your life wonder where you went."

"It turs out my milk is actually aging cream...so, I use it to remove all those ugly age spots."

'What do you think? Edible nail polish.'

'I am reluctant to offer plastic surgery at this time, Miss Caterpillar: Why don't you let Nature take its course?'

'Google Earth is getting SO precise! Right now, I'm zoomed in on Kathy Mangiante's face and I can tell she's had lip implants!'

Jo's Beauty Salon. On vacation. Closed for Summer. That's when things got ugly.

Twig! Please come into my bathroom! Have you been using my makeup? You're paranoid! Everything is in its place. Why would you accuse me? Just a hunch.

'It's the least I can do. I don't have enough money to get cloned.'

Frank and Ernest Updated Fairy Tales. Do you mean fair like "pretty" or fair like "evenhanded"?