Beauty Detective T-Shirts

"How she does her hair is a bit of a mystery."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Bad fake tan day.

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

One of the Ten Best Hair Days of the Year

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

Don't hate me becasue I'm beautiful.

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

'There was no more putting it off; breast reduction time.'

Hipster Police Department

"Getting a Brazilian has been nothing like I expected."

'After you with the camouflage.'

I just want to look natural. You know, like a movie star.

"This will make the man in your life wonder where you went."

Butterfly Woman

"So what's your success rate?"

Our manicure special today is 'Text Message Tips.' I contour your nails so you can hit all those tiny little keys!

Veni, Vidi, Vici, Mani, Pedi.

'My boyfriend is meeting me when I hit the ground.'

'What do you think? Edible nail polish.'

Obstetrics, Gynecology and Waxing.

'Google Earth is getting SO precise! Right now, I'm zoomed in on Kathy Mangiante's face and I can tell she's had lip implants!'

'I am reluctant to offer plastic surgery at this time, Miss Caterpillar: Why don't you let Nature take its course?'

'It's the least I can do. I don't have enough money to get cloned.'