Beauty Daredevil Gifts

Bad fake tan day.

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

'How's the water skiing?'

'Will you marry me, Gloria?'

"How's it look back there?"

"Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio of sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

Fred's Tie: A Momentary Lapse of Judgement or A Cry For Help?

Guide dog leads blind ski jumper off ramp.

'I'll grow old gracefully when I want to and not any sooner.'

"The clothes looked extra dirty... so I used the whole box of detergent!"

"Look I've already said, I'm not going to bed with you on our first date"

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"If at first you don't succeed, buy me another drink."

"So what's your success rate?"

"You might be poor and ugly but you're the only one who didn't blather about politics and climate change after ten minutes. What's your name? Marry me!"

'I solemnly - whooooaaah - delcare...'

'Would you like to come over to my place and see a video of my first marriage?'

'I warn you; I'm no pig to be truffled with

'Okay, so you've proved a point - you really do love me!'

Ass-less Chaps

An man with an axe removes tattoos.

'So -- how did your date go? 'Lousy! -- She tried to impose her moral standards on me!'

"My mates at the showroom said that I should start dating again."

'I'm tellin' you, Maurice, you should try it. I feel younger, more confident and just yesterday I caught a coupla gibbons checkin' me out.'

Saville Row surprise

"Now that's reality TV."

Chaplain Speedo: speed dating, express marriage, quick counseling, overnight divorce. Drive Thru.

Male Green Beret applying face camouflage - female Green Beret applying lipstick.

"Whoa, Fred!! Where'd you get that ridiculous shirt??!"

Man anchors suspenders to ground as he prepares to jump with girlfriend at lover's leap.

How to have long, luscious hair in two easy steps 1) Have short, luscious hair. 2) Don't cut it.

'Well! I asked for a Brazilian.'

"It was a freezing winter night & I could hardly see a thing. Luckily, I was wearing my Fluorescent thong."

"I hope you don't think I'm the type of girl who would look up from her phone on the first date."

"Great stupid haircut!"