Beauty Contest Aficionado T-Shirts

'Beauty Contest registration, all entries become the property of the judges'

'In the talent category, Miss District of Columbia will shred paper.'

Bad hair day!

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Pampered and poodled.

Dating is so expensive...

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

What price beauty?

"I don't like your application."

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

New Twenty Blades

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

Beauty salon - Our hair color is to dye for!

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

"More concealer?"

Rape of the Lock- The Toilet