Beauty Contest Aficionado T-Shirts

'Beauty Contest registration, all entries become the property of the judges'

'In the talent category, Miss District of Columbia will shred paper.'

Bad hair day!

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Dating is so expensive...

Pampered and poodled.

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"I don't like your application."

What price beauty?

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

New Twenty Blades

Your presentation will be terrific. I was up all night, but something's still missing. Here. I've got just what you need. How thoughtful! Eye concealer! No need to thank me.

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

Beauty salon - Our hair color is to dye for!

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'