Beauty And Humor Fan Pillows

"Trust me, she's had work done."

Girl in cow onesie.

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

I e-bay t-shirt.

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

Beer Van and Ice Cream Van

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

"I'm saying we lash out for the 'Deluxe' collagen treatment, next time, honey."

"You know Gladys, you seem to be getting younger by the minute. What's your secret?" "I finally decided to get a few injections of bootox. It works wonders!"

Eventually, a point is reached where even the best cosmetic surgery begins to look more like taxidermy gone horribly wrong.

"It's the best bag I've ever had, I can get everything in it."

'Silicone implant ward.'

'BOTOX...QUICK!

'I want a smaller carrot.'

'She's definitely had work done.'

Botox secretary.

'This bathroom ain't big enough for the both of us.'

'They're for stiff necks - take two, and avoid skulking around in drafty places!'

A woman shops for choir robes in sizes 'small' 'large' and 'large but think they are small'.

"His game is so bad they place the pin flags at half mast whenever he plays a round."

'There'll be a two-hour recess while I get my hair done.'

'Have you got anything a little less invasive?'

'I'm doggie bagging it today.'

'So, on the face of it, what's your verdict?' (husband to wife's beautician).

"Laugh all you want, but my Bunny-Slippers keep my feet nice and warm..."

'Claire would have been devilishly beautiful had it not been for her abnormally large hands'

Dog says 'Ruff!' to another dog wearing a ruff (fabric ruffle).

'I'd like a facelift for the woman next door!'

'She had a nose job.'

It's the Vikings and the Avon lady not due until tomorrow!"

"And in the event of an actual leopard attack the schoolgirl fetish would do exactly what?"

"I have a billionaire client. He invented soap-on-a-rope and now he's filthy rich."

'Unlike men, women can multi-task!'

No size 18 woman no cry

'Be honest, does my hair look mousy?'