Beanstalk Buffs T-Shirts

"Sod climbing it - I'm gonna smoke it...!"

Prize vegetables.

Plant Lady

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

Garden Goddess.

"Would the widdle Venus fly trap like a fly? You'll have to beg for it."

Hermit Crabapple Tree

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

"Oh, quit your whining. At least yours comes back in the Spring

"Takes the food right out of your mouth."

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

'My real name is Bellis Perennis, but you can call me Daisy!'

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

Plant Parenthood...

Florist "Say it with cacti"

'I don't care if you are a big banana, I'm the big cheese around here!'

"Rats, I thought he'd like my science project!"

"You can tell when people don't have pets, because they start to look like their plants."

Tree Identification Field Guide...

Poinsettia

'Yes, I love you, but my family would disown me if I cross-pollinated with a weed, so our relationship must end.'

Balding gnomes

'Let's go to the Horticultural Show and taste the exotic flowers...'

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

'Go and hunt for your own lunch. Who do you think I am, Ray Mears?!'

'Back in the day, you could leverage . . .'

'Take me to your weeder!'

Waiting for plants to grow

The tulip knew it was in trouble when called by its scientific name.

David Attenborough

'He wants to return some shade trees because they stopped working in November.'