Beanstalk Boomer Gifts

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

Boomerang cow.

"I couldn't work out how a boomerang worked - then it came back to me. . !"

'Back in the day, you could leverage . . .'

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

And so Bob's folks sent him off into the world. But not before running a few last tests, just to be sure he could handle it.

"I didn't think you'd still be here at thirty."

The Stages of Coffee Addiction

'Face facts, Lenny †your boomerang is not coming back.'

Planting vegetables - "BEAN there done that."

"And that is why GMO's are bad."

Worker escapes his cubicle by climbing a beanstalk.

'The packet says 'do not climb without safety harness'.'

"Bono is nice, and Bono cares, but I really dig Barry Manilow."

"So when you said you were a bee keeper..."

Old hippie

'The Australians are having problems today.'

'You spent all day mashing a can of a hundred baked beans and drawing a little man on them to look like pennies?'

"Is that decaf?"

'Success in Business'

"Sod climbing it - I'm gonna smoke it...!"

'Look - the giant is dead! You got your cow back! Stop worrying about the loss of the bean crop!'

'Well, if it isn't the guy wiith the draggin' tattoo!'

Leave it to Boomer

"He spent all morning trying to teach me my own name."

"I took a viagra before going to the senior citizen's dance, last night, and I couldn't get anyone to come to my place. So there I stood, all dressed up and no place to go!"

"They've got Hank on some of that medical marijuana."

'So, did you use compost or chemical fertilizers?'

'Jack, we're counting on you and Bessie to make our dream of a Beanstalk Museum come true.'

Man with a football tattooed onto his stomach.

"This will lighten your mood, Dick - every few minutes, a baby boomer turns fifty."