Beach Socialite T-Shirts

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

No caption. (On a pirate ship various flags fly, including flags with a skull and crossbones and other banners showing logos from various social media sites. On the boat deck below, a pirate is looking at his cell phone).

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Children's Party

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

"We're going to the park to size up the competition."

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

"Better lose the hat people are staring."

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

A day at the races

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

"I didn't even know Smallville had a set!"

"Brian's considering the optics."

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

'This one has been banned in Benidorm.'

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"There's a notice from the co-op board. Would we be interested in playing softball on the Great Lawn?"

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"I want you two to meet some people who just bought a fabulous five-story brownstone with a garden in Troy, New York."

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

Health organizations doubt the benefits of skiing holidays.

"Your party just totally blew us away."