Beach Bum's Book Club Gifts

A day at the beach

Check out the nice crawdads I have in the bait bucket, George.

Desert Island Meals.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Beach con-man.

'Thank-you God.'

Bad fake tan day.

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Bring your own inflatable.

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

Man retrives a mermaid from his swimming trunks after a swim in the sea

"The tide is coming in, sweetheart!"

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

Hiding the electronics.

Iliadette.

"The Englishman goes to the beach once a year to shed his skin."

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

'I blame global warming!'

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"

Surfing koala.

'I keep very close touch with the office in case things are running too smoothly without me.'

'Hey - I love your new Bermuda triangle shorts.'

"Hawaiian hitchhiker."

'It's a blonde, long-legged species with a melodious voice and it goes south for the winter.'

"Me, as soon as I'm old enough, I'm out of here! I'll go and join my older brother: he's a beach bum in San Diego, California..."

'It must be the dead sea.'

Baby on board.

"How about if we just winter in hell?"