Beach Bar Connoisseur T-Shirts

"Keep in mind that it was put there by the sharks."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

Holiday time.

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

Beach Barbecue

"That’s great, but where’s the Frisbee?!"

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

Honey remember what I said about feeding the birds.

Periscope spies beautiful water-skier.

"I need a holiday that guarantees perfect weather, good beaches and romance!"

"Jeepers, I didn't know anything could gets so hot!"

'If that's a proposal, I accept!'

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

"I said isn't it great to get away from it all."

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

"Then he suggested we go to a leash optional beach."

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

'Trust me. Those shells have always been wireless.'

Last Chance For Reality

First day on beach: pale Englishman struts his stuff.

I told you not to swim out to far

The Rind of the Ancient Mariner.

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'

"On second thoughts, I'll have it stirred, not shaken."

"Wow, he seems totally normal outside of work."

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

"Let's go and get ice-creams...Dad's beach body ready."

"You're talking politics? Take it outside or online, but not here!"

A man reading 'Beach Chairs for Dummies'

"I needed that. It's a swamp out there."

'How about a nice saloon?'

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar