Battery Backup Planner Pillows

"You know how I said I programmed the geolocation of the oasis in my GPS-receiver? Well, funny thing, the battery is flat..."

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'More homes and wind turbines planned.'

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

Remain calm, we need to talk. We don't want to alarm you. Run for your life! Oh boy. The economic news is not good. It's apocalyptic. We both lived through the depression. More like barely survived. We're seeing parallels -- lack of government investment, no-tax policies ... Fire, disease, bad cellphone coverage ... You're enjoying this too much. you said I could. Spend cautiously, Rudy. Have a back-up plan. Sell your gadgets, buy canned goods. Oh boy.

"You don't have to worry about using up your minutes."

'Any backup plan in case your dream of becoming a YouTube sensation doesn't pan out?'

'Darling, I told you not to call me at work.'

'I'm taking no chances.'

"Hang on, I've just thought of a plan B."

"Instant coffee? Little plug-in water heater?? This new guy must be a real survivalist!"

"Here it is - 'Surviving an Earthquake'..."

Saving up for a rainy day.

"More protein? How about some veggies once in a while?"

'Smart bloke.'

'So much for Plan B!'

"Do I have a personal preparedness plan in case of a national emergency? Well, if screaming while running amok is a plan, then yes, I have a plan."

Ok, I've set you up with an offshore back account, so you can hide your valuables for use after the oncoming apocalypse. You're too kind, sir. Where is it? Caymans? Switzerland? That's amateur stuff. The economy's increasingly global. When America goes down, it could take the Swiss and Cayman economies down with it. Then where – To open your account, I'll need your passport, tax returns, and a map of your genome. Bank of Deneb Prime. Trump turned me on to it.

Creature Plumbing

'What's that?' - 'It's in case we have a power failure.'

"Forget the comet! We're going to make a killing on end-of-the-word merchandise!"

'I always carry my hammer, incase we're shipwrecked, and I need it to crack coconuts.'

The end of the world is nigh - Get your specially adapted clock here

"Today our quest continues for someone who can come up with a solution for dealing with the partisan gridlock in Washington."

Battery life time

"It is the end of the world, but who would have thought it would be so noninvasive and convenient."

"Enough of this. Just suck it up and borrow the neighbor’s laptop charger."

Cat stuck up tree with 'You are here' sign.

His and Hers In Case of Emergency

I need help with my assets, and I figured who better to ask than you, the most greedy person I've ever met? You flatter me, sir. The apocalypse is upon us. I can feel it in my bones. I've never believed material wealth was all that important, but still I want to make sure my retirement fund will survive, to provide for Sadie … who we know will be the only one standing when the dust clears. What's ludicrous. Really. Pretty sure it'll be just the roaches and Sadie. No, I mean … you have assets?

'No, Friday is not good for me, sorry. Boy, hunting in a pack is such a logistical nightmare...'