Bathroom Solo Performer Pillows

'Are you going to be long in there? ...And have you seen my electric guitar?'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"The 'Sing Only in the Shower' Community Chorus"

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

'So how do you manage such a close shave?' 'Simple,i wait till the very last second.'

The Tragedy of Prosperity

'So, that's where the blue water comes from!'

'Fortunately, the Almighty is compassionate, kind, understanding, and hopefully tone deaf.'

"Looks like Billy clogged up the toilet again."

His and Hernia's towels.

'The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber and the second bathroom saved our marriage.'

My Musical Influences

"Hey Rudy, you've been in there for over an hour. You OK in there?" "I think I'm dying here." "What? D'you need me to call 911?" "I don't think that'll help." "I just need to build more pikemen and cavalry and buy a defense boost before the enemy's march reaches my city." "Get off your phone!!!" "I'm saving a kingdom here! It's important!"

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

Kid's at Bath Time.

"This next song is for all the music teachers who said I'd never make it."

Dance of the Inconsistent Water Temperature

A conductor practising in front of a mirror.

'Why can't you be like other men and just sing in the bath?'

"That shampoo was delicious!"

'...I got my hands dirty washing my face!'

Bowel movement in D minor.

'So we meet again on the fields of battle.'

'This bathroom ain't big enough for the both of us.'

"It wasn't until after fifty years of marriage that Mike finally learned the importance of putting the seat down." "Happy anniversary. Now flush."

Sign Above Toilet Reads 'In Memory of 'Spike'...'

"Travel the dark corridor over shoe mountain. Avoid the couch ogre lest he steal your soul. The third door is the bathroom you seek."

'Have you considered a second bathroom?'

'The only one who likes it when you're singing in the shower is our neighbour... the glazier!'

"My one man play is now in the west end. I play Lee Harvey Oswald."

"Don't take your list in there! What's wrong with you?!?"