Bathing Suit Collector Gifts

Mixed Marriage: Downhill Racer.

Guys who wear bikini style bathing suits to the beach...

'All i saw in the mirror was cellulite everywhere.'

Bring your own inflatable.

Man using to much bug spray

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Decontamination

What bothers me is that my birthday suit now counts as vintage clothing.

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

"It's not that you're too old for a thong, dear. It's just you've got it on backwards."

'Okay who swiped my bath toys?'

"And that's me as a shepherdess!"

'That's the last frivolous law suit I want to see any lawyer wearing in this court!'

Mankini - One size fits all.

'This one has been banned in Benidorm.'

Retail store: 'put this on and shut up!'

'Don't worry, if you buy it, you don't have to wear it.'

Bad Outfit Alarm.

'I'm walking across the nation to raise awareness of my fabulous legs.'

'Don't hurt it.'

Bowel movement in D minor.

"Mom! Are these capri pants, or did I just get taller?"

MMM-MM, Cellulite

"Apparently, the birds are back from the south."

"Have you ever had the feeling you forgot to turn something off?"

"WOW! Talk about rip tide!!"

'The decision is strictly up to you, Walter...I'll only tell you which ones you can't have.'

'I am wearing my bikini!'

I have a press for every day of the year!

'I have a dress for every day of the year. Is that it?'

Male nudist whistles at a woman in a bikini.

"More like 95% off!"

"I'd like to buy some clothes."