Bathing Crusader Pillows

Grooming for beginners.

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

'More bubbles!'

Leave your troubles in the bubbles

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

Ironing day.

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

Loofah Lady

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

New Twenty Blades

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

'I just invented the 'chair' - It relieves lower back pain!'

"It would kill him to run a vacuum?"

Fumes from furniture

Sea Change.

'Forget about building trust. Just give the dog a bath.'

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

"Not now!"

The only creation God was truly proud of was the Sabbath

"I don't CARE if Tracy Emin's bed sold for £4440,000...I STILL want you to clean your room."

'When you've finished the washing up and you're certain you've cleaned absolutely everything... you'll always find another teaspoon.'

"I could probably keep spring-cleaning till next winter."

"Let me know when the floor is clean enough for me to put my feet on it again."

'Mom, I cleaned my room like you told me.'

'Oh no, green waxy build up.'

How to recover from a bad day

Cleaner

Man of steel wool.

"Honey, it was a hard day. I'm going to take a bath."

"You'll have to clean your room by yourself. Your plea for disaster aid has been turned down by the President."

Kid's Driving You Crazy?

'Voila!! No more wrinkles!!'

'This wasn't in the adventure brochure!'

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'