Basketball Banter Buddy Pillows

'You think you've got a bad knee? Let me tell you about a bad knee, my brother.'

Peach flirting with a banana.

"I think it stopped breathing."

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

'Ted, isn't it about time you sorted out your deer-gut?'

'I was in the right place at the right time once, and then I realized it wasn't ME.'

"'Ere, mate - you look like a right muppett..!"

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

'You say the pains in my left leg are caused by old age. But doctor my right leg is just as old and it doesn't hurt at all!'

'It was a gift.'

"When's the last time you shaved, little buddy?"

'I don't know much about Art, but i can tell you all about his wife.'

I used my first draft pick on the turkey leg. It's a proven point-getter! I drafted potatoes. They're not flashy but they are a reliable performer! I'll trade my cranberry sauce for you pie. It's a win-win trade that will benefit us both! No trades -- This pie will score a lot of points for me later! Why are they talking about this wonderful meal like it's fantasy football? It's not a game with winners and losers here. You're absolutely right! Just being here together sharing this meal,

"When life gives me lemons, I know twenty-six ways to kill a man with a lemon."

'Did you spill my pint?'

"I tell the truth, and sometimes it's funny."

"You know all the best pubs for lunch, Seamus."

"We've been married so long you not only finish my sentences you start 'em too."

'Blah, blah, blah....'

'Do you know the Lincolnshire poacher?'

"The coach said that you play like Ronaldo? Ha! You loser! He told me I play like Chloe Kelly!"

(Carl's Sports Bar) - 'Hockey Sucks!!' - Although Earl had made good on his dare, it would be weeks before he could eat solid food again.

'The Giants vs. Trolls'

'Please cover for me Carol. I'll be away from my desk, roaming the cubicles, searching for sports talk.'

'Out batted, out bowled, out fielded!'

"At our age I figure we only have two taste buds left. One for vodka and one for wine."

"Touché, Roy. A snappy riposte will be winging its way to you as soon as possible."

Ha! My grandma could cast farther than that! Doug's day of fishing for compliments was not going as planned …

'You must spend you whole life in here.' - 'No, sometimes I go down to the Crown.'

'Is throwing a toupee a technical foul?'

The theraputic quality of the World Cup only comes to the fore with a good xenophobic thrashing of foreigners.

"Maintenance sex man!"