Basement Fixer-upper Pillows

'Well... at least we know the basement doesn't leak.'

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

Man to pets about upside down house: 'I don't care who started it!'

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

"Thanks to our self-driving car, Fred channels all his road rage energy into doing chores around the house!"

Darn you, you stupid hammer!

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'

DIY information - 'Here you are - look it up yourself.'

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

'Not only did I fix the leak, but when you run the hot water it plays 'Harlem Nocturne'.'

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

"There's nothing wrong with your marriage that an extra bathroom and walk-in closet can't solve."

"It's the first responders wondering when you'll be needing their services this weekend..."

He spends all weekend under the stupid thing, but I don't think he's really fixing anything.

"First thing when you get home tonight help me with the refrigerator."

DIY Store "I don't know why we come here..."

Well paid job

'While we're on the subject, when are you going to do something about those potholes in our driveway at home?'

"Who would you like me to call first, the electrician or the plumber?"

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

"Is it really necessary to shout 'Nailed it!' every time you hammer a nail?"

"My husband is ambidextrous....completely useless with either hand!"

'Now that you've got it running again, how do you stop it?'

"Here's a video showing how to fix a toilet. It shows a guy calling a plumber."

'What did I tell you about buying a flatpack wardrobe!'

"Do you want to try and put the air conditioner in together or stay married?"