Baseball Phobia Aficionado Pillows

'...You have a morbid fear of the ball.'

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

350 Feet.

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

Perils of the double play.

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

Vendor selling testosterone.

"Think of me as the designated sitter."

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

Sheltering in place.

'OK, now let's switch places.'

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

Monster Baseball

I watched an erotic thriller last night. Have you heard of the film 'Field of Dreams'?

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

"Got him up at the stadium, Chief. It was Yankee Duck Day."

"Try letting the ball come to you."

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

Goodbye Opiate of the Masses

Extra innings.

"Slugger goes yard!!!"