Baseball Expert Pillows

"In a further effort to ingratiate herself with New Yorkers, Hillary Clinton threw out the first pitch at last night's Yankee game and went on to pitch three scoreless innings."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

350 Feet.

Perils of the double play.

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

"All this pitching and hitting- I'm convinced there's a deeper meaning to it all."

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

"Think of me as the designated sitter."

'OK, now let's switch places.'

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

Official Team Cap With Beard

"Try letting the ball come to you."

Extra innings.

Goodbye Opiate of the Masses

'Here is is. 'Vicarious: imagined participation in another's experience' ... it doesn't mean you actually get to play on your son's team.'

"We would have won if it hadn't been for the other team."

'I'll take the one on the right.'

'The meat of their order is coming up.'

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"

"Get the meat loaf—I hit it out of the park today."

"Uniformly accelerated motion"

"Easy on the fast balls, will you, kid?"

Baseball Dreams

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'

Baseball.

Stadium. No fans allowed. In baseball, "shutout" now has two meanings.