Barking Translators Gifts

'What? You want something? It has something to do with your food dish? Darn, I wish dogs could talk!'

Bitchbark Canoe

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Barks in code.

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'Arf! Arf!'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

Dog phrenology

Dogs Must Be On A Leash.

Sonata for Piano and Dog

"Take a right at Rocky's fire hydrant. A left at Duke's bench and the dog part will be one block past buddy's tree."

'...and I know exactly how to interpret his barks.'

"That's just not the real me."

"I yip, therefore I am."

Dog in therapy.

'Wow, it's busy...I hope we can find a barking spot!'

The Inner Dog.

One giant bark for dogkind.

'I heard my master say I was getting fixed...I didn't even know I was broken!'

"He's sending an instant message."

'A listener from Ridgeway asks, 'When visiting a friend, is it improper to drink out of the toilet unless asked first?' Good question...'

'Oh my God, dog biscuits are down!'

Cruel Pet Tricks

Dog Dictionary: ARF bow-wow woof.

The four freedoms: freedom to bark, freedom from fetching, freedom to sleep on any piece of furniture, freedom from leashes.

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'

"Say something like 'Bow-wow' or 'Arf-arf' and you'll really break them up."

Dog-English dictionary.