Barking Translators T-Shirts

'What? You want something? It has something to do with your food dish? Darn, I wish dogs could talk!'

Bitchbark Canoe

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Barks in code.

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'Arf! Arf!'

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

Dog phrenology

"Take a right at Rocky's fire hydrant. A left at Duke's bench and the dog part will be one block past buddy's tree."

Sonata for Piano and Dog

'Sure, he acts like he's into you now, but, trust me...he's only interested in one thing.'

Dogs Must Be On A Leash.

'...and I know exactly how to interpret his barks.'

"That's just not the real me."

"I yip, therefore I am."

Dog in therapy.

'Wow, it's busy...I hope we can find a barking spot!'

The Inner Dog.

'I heard my master say I was getting fixed...I didn't even know I was broken!'

"He's sending an instant message."

One giant bark for dogkind.

I know they told me not to bark

'A listener from Ridgeway asks, 'When visiting a friend, is it improper to drink out of the toilet unless asked first?' Good question...'

'Oh my God, dog biscuits are down!'

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'

"Say something like 'Bow-wow' or 'Arf-arf' and you'll really break them up."

Dog Dictionary: ARF bow-wow woof.

Cruel Pet Tricks

Select a song: Another Dog Barking. Lots of Other Dogs Barking. Howling. Siren. Doorbell. Dog Karaoke.

The four freedoms: freedom to bark, freedom from fetching, freedom to sleep on any piece of furniture, freedom from leashes.