Barking Broker T-Shirts

'Oh my God, dog biscuits are down!'

Bitchbark Canoe

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

Sales chart is buildings in background.

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

'Arf! Arf!'

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

Why markets crash.

"Have you tried biting him?"

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

Dog phrenology

"Your stork analyst is here, sir."

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

'Sure, he acts like he's into you now, but, trust me...he's only interested in one thing.'

"Take a right at Rocky's fire hydrant. A left at Duke's bench and the dog part will be one block past buddy's tree."

'I don't know about you, but I really don't like the look of that yield curve.'

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

"I yip, therefore I am."