Bark Enthusiast Gifts

'The man at the shelter promised he doesn't bark at all.'

"My name is Prince, and I'm a barkaholic."

Dog Bar - Yappy Hour.

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

Doggie door in The Pearly Gates.

'On the plus side you can hear him barking a mile away.'

'I'm telling you the truth! Toilet water is no better than water straight from the tap.'

"All right Spottie, Bark once for 'yes', twice for 'no' and five times if you wish to take the 5th."

Heel! Toe!

Subtitle: Woof.

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

"It's always so loud during yappy hour."

A day in the life of a dog.

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

'Here, master, come on boy.'

'Yo Bitch' - 'Nice Ass'

'Actually, mine is a useless hunter, but we both love wandering idly in the woods...'

"His bark is bigger than his bite."

'Hey, you old flea bag.'

(Dog smoking): 'Perky isn't a bad dog, but she's hanging with a bad crowd.'

'You know it's time to bath the dog when he starts to smell like a gym bag!'

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

Good Dog

"I'm 'Bad Dog' so you must be 'Good Boy'!"

"It was humiliating! First, he told me to beg and then he wanted me to roll over and pretend I was dead...so, I bit him!"

"If I didn't bark incessantly for no reason whatsoever I think I'd go mad."

"You understand about ten of my words, but I understand NONE of your barks."

"No, that was my barking for a reason bark. This is my barking for no reason bark."

'Stupid telebarketers.'

"You think your yap is annoying?"

"Buttercup's unusual. Her bite's worse than her bark."

Dog Food Pyramid. Meat. Scraps.

Remember, he's simple - It's not WHAT you bark at him, it's the TONE you use when you bark at him.